Dear Dr. TRuth,
I am 16 years old and I have a problem.
I have just started really talking to a girl who I've liked for along
time. I mean, I have talked to her before, but now we are REALLY
talking, and I love every second of it.
My problem is her boyfriend.
They are very close, and it always seems to go against me, you know
like he can provide her more cause he is 2 years older and has a car
and makes more money than me. Yada yada.
Anyway, I have never met this guy, but I have had situations where he
has been involved. Like a few years ago I sort of liked this other
girl and before I knew it, he walked straight over my 'ground work'
and got her.
And now I have the same guy in my problem, and I don't know what I can do.
It's not like I want the girl I like now to just drop everything cause
I said so. She doesn't even know I like her, but I know she has a soft
spot for me, I can tell.
What can I do?
What if I tell her what I feel and she never talks to me again.
I know this sounds a little self-involved but I really really like
this girl, and I have had a bad run with girls in the past.
Should I tell her?
Should I wait?
What do I do?
"Just a Friend"
Dear "Just a Friend"
The best way not to have a bad run with girls is to chose girls who
are emotionally available.
If a girl truly likes you, the fact that her boyfriend has a car
should not matter all that much.
I think part of your problem is that you lack the self-confidence to
believe that girls will really like you just because you are you and
feel that that is special enough.
There is nothing like the magic of self-esteem to magnetize people
towards us. That is what you need to work on.
If she is really that close to her bf, even though she might have a
soft spot for you doesn't mean that she is ready to leave him.
In fact, one way of setting yourself up for failure is to horn in on
someone else's territory.
If you really do need to pursue this, you can ask her how serious her
relationship is.
That is a safe way of finding out what is up with them.
If she gets all misty and says she loves him, forget it.
If she acts kind of ambivalent, tell her you think she's worth more than that.
If she takes you up on it, fine.
If not, keep on being her friend and find someone who isn't already "taken."
This will certainly increase your chances of finding a girl who likes
you just for yourself.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
I am 16 years old and I have a problem.
I have just started really talking to a girl who I've liked for along
time. I mean, I have talked to her before, but now we are REALLY
talking, and I love every second of it.
My problem is her boyfriend.
They are very close, and it always seems to go against me, you know
like he can provide her more cause he is 2 years older and has a car
and makes more money than me. Yada yada.
Anyway, I have never met this guy, but I have had situations where he
has been involved. Like a few years ago I sort of liked this other
girl and before I knew it, he walked straight over my 'ground work'
and got her.
And now I have the same guy in my problem, and I don't know what I can do.
It's not like I want the girl I like now to just drop everything cause
I said so. She doesn't even know I like her, but I know she has a soft
spot for me, I can tell.
What can I do?
What if I tell her what I feel and she never talks to me again.
I know this sounds a little self-involved but I really really like
this girl, and I have had a bad run with girls in the past.
Should I tell her?
Should I wait?
What do I do?
"Just a Friend"
Dear "Just a Friend"
The best way not to have a bad run with girls is to chose girls who
are emotionally available.
If a girl truly likes you, the fact that her boyfriend has a car
should not matter all that much.
I think part of your problem is that you lack the self-confidence to
believe that girls will really like you just because you are you and
feel that that is special enough.
There is nothing like the magic of self-esteem to magnetize people
towards us. That is what you need to work on.
If she is really that close to her bf, even though she might have a
soft spot for you doesn't mean that she is ready to leave him.
In fact, one way of setting yourself up for failure is to horn in on
someone else's territory.
If you really do need to pursue this, you can ask her how serious her
relationship is.
That is a safe way of finding out what is up with them.
If she gets all misty and says she loves him, forget it.
If she acts kind of ambivalent, tell her you think she's worth more than that.
If she takes you up on it, fine.
If not, keep on being her friend and find someone who isn't already "taken."
This will certainly increase your chances of finding a girl who likes
you just for yourself.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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